With political parties failing to reach a consensus on the names being bandied about to occupy the nation’s highest office, Dr Manmohan Singh is likely to become the President of India in addition to being its Prime Minister, informed sources.
“Well, all parties agree that Dr Manmohan Singh has the necessary experience and gravitas to become the head of State. He’s already served as ceremonial head of the Government for 8 years now with dignity and poise, gracefully acquiesced to the advice of his ministers and madam, and never allowed any of his Government’s scams and scandals to taint his august office. So why not acknowledge the reality and make him the de jure President from being a de facto one,” said an influential Congress leader, on condition of anonymity.
The opposition has also warmed up to the choice. “Yeah, gotta admit he’s quite apolitical unlike Pranab da, yaa, has more stature than that Ansari chap and has been very… Presidential during his 8 years as Prime Minister. We will vote for him if he throws his hat.. I mean turban into the ring,” said leader of the Opposition, Sushma Swaraj.
However, with 10, Janpath reluctant to nominate a replacement for the Prime Ministership – Madam can’t trust anyone else to keep the seat warm for Rahul – Dr. Singh will continue to be the Indian Prime Minister as well, thereby combining the dignity and stature of both the offices.
Dr Singh is very excited about the new arrangement. “Yaar, its will be so cool to become President and have ministers serve at my pleasure. I will finally get to reign like Sonia madam. Whoohooo,” cooed the economist turned statesman, who also promised to be more pro-active and hands on as the President regarding his Government’s economic policies. “Well, if you think I will be gallivanting off to exotic desitnations with my grand-kids after I shift to Raisina Hill because I will have nothing better to do, then you are mistaken, sir. I will be putting in 18 hour workdays 6 days a week along with Monty to fine-tune the 12th 5 year plan and commence work on the Vision 2050 document thereafter.”
However, one person has not taken kindly to the developments. “What the f*** eesh thish? Firsht he beat me to the Prime Meenishter’s posht becaush he wash non politicaal and now he beats me to Preshidaant’s posht as well for the shame f**king reeshon. Why does non politicaal pershon alwaish score over politicaal pershon?” hollered Pranab da, who lost out once again to Dr Singh because, ironically enough, as his party’s chief trouble-shooter, he is too indispensable to be kicked upstairs.
